Introducing Spittle the Super Amazing, Always Eating Wonder Dog

This is Spittle. He once ate an entire bag of horse feed and had to go to the bathroom every hour for a day or so. I had to pick the piles up myself so I know there were exactly 18. Sorry to be gross but that's impressive, right? He doesn't know how to stop eating. He likes to pull food off the counters in the kitchen so we started hiding food in the oven. But now he knows how to open the oven and can also get into the freezer (we have a fridge with the freezer on the bottom). He likes frozen pees, orange Popsicles, and any parts that come from a chicken. We bought a whole separate freezer on Craigslist to keep in the basement just so he couldn't eat our food. Mom lets me (and dad pretends he doesn't notice) keep the freezer up here stocked with frozen peas so he can have a treat when he gets the notion.

This is Spittle when he first came to our doorstep. He's blurry cause he never, ever stops moving. Not now and not then. He's a chocolate lab but must not be pure or someone would have wanted him back. The first week he was with us he slept on my pillow right next to my head and snored something wicked (people in Boston where my aunt lives say "wicked" all the time so I'm going to try it out). He ate a bag of potatoes he managed to pull off the top of the fridge and the aloe plant we used to keep in the front room, and then he chewed his own collar in half while he was wearing it. He gets so happy to see me when I come home from school that he pees a little. I get pretty happy to see him too but almost always hold it in (just kidding...I don't ever pee myself).